How Societies Mark the Onset of Marriage: Ceremonies and Trial Marriage

Every society has some way of marking the onset of a marriage, but the ways differ greatly. Many societies hold a ceremony, often with feasting, gifts and ritual. Others use informal social signals: the birth of a child among the Taramiut Inuit, living and eating together among the Trobriand Islanders, or eating food cooked by the bride among the Kwoma. Wedding rites often express either rivalry or harmony between the two families.

This note explains how different societies mark the beginning of a marriage, with ethnographic examples, for the UPSC Anthropology Optional. It falls under Paper I, topic 2.3 (marriage) of the Anthropology Optional syllabus.

Why the onset of marriage must be marked

Marriage is a socially approved sexual and economic union. Approval requires that the community knows when a couple has become husband and wife. A public sign does four things:

• It announces the new status of the couple to everyone.
• It transfers rights, over residence, labour, property and children, from one family to another.
• It legitimises the children who will be born.
• It joins two families, and often two larger kin groups, as affines.

Some cultures mark marriage with elaborate rites and celebrations and others much more informally. Most also have economic transactions before, during or after the onset of the marriage.

Ways of marking marriage at a glance

Marriage without a formal ceremony

Taramiut Inuit: marriage marked by a birth

Betrothal is very important and is arranged by the parents at or before the time their children reach puberty. When the young man is ready, he moves in with the family of his betrothed for a trial period. If the young woman bears a child within a year or so, the couple are considered married and the wife goes with her husband to his camp. If there is no child, the young man returns to his own family without a wife.

Trobriand Islanders: marriage marked by living together

A Trobriand couple make their wish to marry known by keeping regular company, showing themselves together in public and staying with each other for long periods. When the girl accepts a small gift from the boy, it shows that her parents favour the match. Before long she moves to the boy's house, takes her meals there and accompanies him through the day. The word then goes round that the two are married. Malinowski recorded that exchanges of food between the two families follow.

Kwoma: trial marriage and a symbolic meal

The girl lives for a while in the boy's home, cooking only for herself, while his food is prepared by the women of his family. When the boy's mother is satisfied with the match, and knows that her son is too, she waits for a day when he is out and asks the girl to cook his meal. When he has nearly finished his first bowl, his mother tells him who cooked it, and that by eating it he is now married. By custom the boy runs out of the house, spits out the soup and complains loudly of the cooking. A ceremony then makes the marriage official.

Living together in industrial societies

In Western countries, living together without a ceremony has become common over the last few decades. For most couples it is a prelude to marriage or a kind of trial marriage; for some it is an alternative to marriage. The pattern is comparable to the informal and trial unions that anthropologists have long described elsewhere.

Marriage marked by ceremony

Feasting: the Reindeer Tungus

Where there is a ceremony, feasting is a common public expression of the union of the two families. Among the Reindeer Tungus of Siberia a feast opens and closes the wedding.

1. The date is fixed after long negotiations between the two families and their kin groups, conducted mainly by go-betweens.
2. On the day, the two kin groups, perhaps 150 people in all, pitch their lodges in separate areas and hold a great feast.
3. The groom's gifts are presented, and the bride's dowry is loaded on reindeer and taken to the groom's lodge.
4. There the bride takes the wife's place, at the right of the entrance, and members of both families sit in a circle.
5. The groom follows the bride round the circle, greeting each guest, and the guests in turn greet the bride.
6. The go-betweens perform the final act of blessing over the bride's hands, and the couple are husband and wife. More feasting ends the day.

Ritual hostility: the Gusii

In many cultures the wedding includes ceremonial expressions of hostility between the two families: mock fights, taunting and teasing. Among the Gusii of Kenya, described by Robert and Barbara LeVine, young clansmen of the groom come to fetch the bride. She clings to the house posts and has to be led away, weeping, and the antagonism between bride and groom is carried into the first days of the marriage.

Such displays usually occur where the two sets of kin are actual or potential rivals, and where it is common to marry women from "enemy" villages.

Ritual harmony: Rotuma

Other ceremonies work in the opposite direction. On the Polynesian island of Rotuma a female clown is an important part of the wedding. Her task is to create a joking atmosphere that makes it easier for the two sides to mix.

What wedding ceremonies express

• They are rites of passage. Arnold van Gennep showed that such rites have three stages: separation from the old status, a transitional stage, and incorporation into the new. In a wedding the bride's departure from her home, the journey or seclusion, and her reception in the new household correspond to these.
• They symbolise the relation between the groups. Mock capture and resistance dramatise the loss of a daughter and the rivalry of the two sides. Shared meals and joking dramatise their union.
• They display and transfer wealth. Feasts, gifts, bridewealth and dowry are given before witnesses, which makes the transaction binding.
• They make the marriage public. A large gathering is itself the evidence that the marriage took place.

Indian illustrations

• Hindu marriage. The saptapadi, the seven steps taken together before the sacred fire, is the act that completes the marriage. In South India the tying of the tali marks it.
• Santhal. In the regular form of marriage (bapla), the groom applies vermilion (sindur) to the bride's forehead, and this act makes them husband and wife.
• Gond and other central Indian tribes. Weddings often include a staged show of resistance by the bride's party, a ceremonial survival comparable to the Gusii case.
• Feasting. In most tribal communities a feast for the village, with rice beer, is what gives the marriage public recognition; a couple who elope are accepted once they provide it.

Using this topic in a UPSC answer

• State that all societies mark marriage, but by ceremony in some and by informal signals in others.
• Give three informal cases in a line each: Taramiut Inuit, Trobriand, Kwoma.
• Give one ceremonial case with feasting (Tungus) and the contrast of hostility (Gusii) and harmony (Rotuma).
• Bring in van Gennep's three stages to analyse the ceremony.
• Add an Indian example such as the Santhal sindur rite or saptapadi.

For presentation, see our guide to anthropology answer writing with diagrams, thinkers and case studies.

Frequently asked questions

How do societies mark the beginning of a marriage?

Many societies mark it with a ceremony involving feasting, gifts and ritual. Others use informal signals, such as the couple living and eating together or the birth of their first child.

Do all societies have wedding ceremonies?

No. Among the Taramiut Inuit and the Trobriand Islanders there is no formal wedding. The marriage is recognised when a child is born or when the couple are seen to be living together.

What is trial marriage?

Trial marriage is an arrangement in which a couple live together for a period before the marriage is confirmed. Among the Kwoma the girl lives in the boy's home, and among the Taramiut Inuit the boy lives with the girl's family.

Why do some weddings include mock fights?

Mock fights and ritual resistance express the rivalry between the two kin groups and the loss felt by the bride's family. They are commonest where people marry into groups that are actual or potential enemies.

Why is feasting common at weddings?

A feast publicly expresses the joining of the two families, brings together witnesses to the marriage, and is the occasion for presenting gifts and marriage payments.

How is marriage a rite of passage?

Marriage moves a person from one social status to another. Following van Gennep, the ceremony has stages of separation, transition and incorporation into the new household and role.